Today while driving home from work, my sister called. I had just missed an accident while talking on the phone once today and I was not up for another close call. I was trying to get out of Woonsocket which is a labrynthine (is that a word?) town, as far as I can tell, so I needed to draw on all my resources to concentrate and get back to route 146. This was no time for a chat. Just as I told Liz I would have to call her back and hung up the phone, I saw a police car behind me with his flashers on. His car made that siren-y noise that is not really a siren, a little less dramatic than that but that noise like a deep “MEEEP. You ma’am, yes you. I am MEEPing at YOU.” I remained calm and pulled over, wondering what I had done, hoping I could cry if necessary. He simply pulled up and pointed out that we were on a one-way street facing the wrong way. I should mention here that he was HOT. I didn’t see any one way signs. Maybe he was trying to pretend it was one-way just so he could talk to me? More likely I missed the signs. “Oh my God! I had no idea!” I exclaimed. I really didn’t have any idea. Woonsocket is so confusing! He requested I take the next right, which I did and promptly pulled over to receive whatever punishment he should mete out. My head was filled with worries…
Will I get a ticket? Will he search my car for contraband? Will I be admonished for using my cell phone while driving? Do I have my license? Is my registration in the ziplock baggie in the glove box amid a sea of user manuals, maps, band aids and tampons? Is my insurance going to be wicked expensive from now on? Oh crap. I am in so much trouble. Does he know this is not the first time I went the wrong way down a one-way? Is he wearing a wedding band? Am I going to get in trouble for the peppermint tic tacs I stole from Almacs when I was four?
He rolled down his window and asked if I was lost. “Well…. sort of. I am a little turned around and I’m trying to find 146.”The beefcake started to tell me how to find 146, then quickly changed his mind and said “Just follow me.” At the final intersection he motioned for me to pull up beside him. He told me “When you see the Stop & Shop, go left for south, right for north.” I thanked him and headed home, feeling lucky to be a girl.