BOULDER MAN PURCHASES NEW CELL PHONE

Boulder (AP). Today Dan bought a new cell phone. For privacy reasons he asked that his last name be withheld. Due to factors that are not totally clear, up to now he has been using a Nokia originally purchased in 2004. While marginally functional, the Nokia had some major problems. Primary issues were the fact that it hung up on high priority callers such as clients and Dan’s girlfriend, (Pam Sinel) spontaneously. It also held a charge for a ridiculously short time. This also prevented Sinel from contacting him, or having protracted phone conversations with him, which were also severely problematic. In a private interview, she reported the phone was “stupid.” She also made public remarks referring to the phone as “a fossil.” She stated that it was next to impossible to see the phone’s display, particularly in sunny weather. “It was really hard for me to help him dial any numbers when he was driving. He drives a standard, so sometimes I would be like ‘Give me the phone, I’ll dial,’ but then I couldn’t even see the contacts or anything and I would just have to hand it right back to him. That phone was so lame.”

When asked why he waited nearly five years to purchase a new phone, the affable software developer simply shrugged and said “It still worked.” At this time however he is the owner of a brand new AT&T phone. He refused to purchase an I-Phone, and instead decided on a Palm Centro. At this time Sinel has entered in a few key appointments and has attached her picture to her contact information. She stated “I honestly didn’t think he would do it in 2009. This is a pleasant surprise.” Dan was not available for comment on the Centro.

Posted in: Dan

7 thoughts on “BOULDER MAN PURCHASES NEW CELL PHONE

  1. Javier says:

    I applaud his decision to resist the forces that require people buy something Apple related. Hope he enjoys the new phone. Sometimes this new technology works well, I just this week got my first whatcha-ma-call-it MP3 Players lol (NOT and IPOD!)

    Like

  2. Nat says:

    I’m sure you are breathing easier now. I saw that phone. I laughed so hard, which only made you laugh, and we all know how that ends: both of us in hysterics, not sure why we are laughing. Anyhow, I can say that phone gave us good times, but I’m excited to see the new one soon! Go Dan! Welcome to 2009 dude!

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  3. Elisa DelBonis says:

    I can’t stop laughing. I’m sitting at my parents’ (me temp home until I move) watching TV, trying to write a damn blog post, and instead, almost peeing on their ugly couch (that they’ve had since I was in middle school.) It’s your fault if it gets ruined.

    Like

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