Are you trying to test me? Was there some sacrifice I was supposed to make to get in your good graces? Something to bring to the altar beside my time, my sweat and my tears? You think I’m exaggerating? That was me, crying in the Toyota dealership parking lot yesterday after the Rocky Mountain Road Runners 10k in Thornton. With the black capri spandex and the black long-sleeve on? Sniffling like a four year old? That was me.

I know you have a lot to keep track of… Perhaps you got me confused with someone else. Because I’m the one who has been logging upwards of 45 miles some weeks. I am the one who has been doing hill repeats, track workouts and tempo runs all season. The girl who feels like her legs got run over by an 18 wheeler sometimes but completes her workout anyway. The one who hit the treadmill when everyone else was going for happy hour by the pool in Puerto Vallarta. The one who got out and ran the day of the 60 mph wind gusts? That was me.

So I don’t get this. I didn’t blame you when I ran a 48:55 at the Longmont Turkey Trot 10k this November. I thought maybe it was that I’d just come back to training and that the course might have been hillier than I thought. I was mad that my track workouts and tempo runs have been so painstakingly slow, and I was frustrated that I haven’t been able to negative split ANYTHING, but I didn’t blame you. I just kept doing the work, hoping if I made the committment, the results would come.

This Sunday’s race was too much, however. Are you trying to make an atheist out of me?? Because when I looked at my watch and saw 51:51 yesterday I just about lost all faith. Maybe you misunderstood; that was a 10k, not a half-marathon… A year ago I did a 10k in 47 and change. You would have had a meltdown too.

I get it. You are trying to tell me something. Can you just tell me what it is instead of making me suffer? If you don’t my blood draw will. I should get the lab results back this week. In the meantime, I am fed up with you and your stupid shenanigans. If this was a simple case of mistaken identity, please just leave me alone and let me at least run the Surf City Marathon in peace.

Pam