Last night we had a housewarming party. Sorry if you are reading this and weren’t invited it’s probably because I hate you, as we invited virtually everyone we know. Just kidding. If I know you and didn’t invite you its probably only because I forgot or didn’t have your email address. Anyway, it was a very successful potluck. What makes a party “successful” you ask? Lots of things, among them, the PDDF (Pam Dessert Degeneration Factor), or how quickly did I go from “not going to eat any desserts because my wedding is in about two months” to “just going to try that one that looks really good, anyway two months is actually kind of a long time” to “OMG I don’t hardly have room for that eighth dessert.. which means yes of course I have a little room for that banana cream pie… did someone say chocolate ice cream? Wedding? What wedding??”

When the pesto pasta, potstickers, pudding cakes, and pinot noir were put away, the last crumbs swept up, and the empty bottles collected in the recycle bin, we went through the presents. There were the usual suspects; bottles of wine, especially nice bottles of wine, scented candles.. and then we opened a tissue paper covered rectangle which revealed… a fire extinguisher. And then we opened a gift bag full of tea accoutrements, and then I remembered the neon green gift bag I left in the basement. Which contained none other than.. a second fire extinguisher. Two fire extinguishers? Is that a little wierd? Its what I would have expected of my brother, but our friends? Do they know how accident prone I am? Is that what this is about? Is this a normal thing for someone to give to another adult who is neither their sibling nor their offspring? (Our third fire extinguisher was a gift to Dan from his parents when he bought his condo years ago). Three fire extinguishers!? Is it me or is this excessive? Yesterday, Dan asked me just how many serving platters we need and if we can start to pare down once we have “enough.” Whatever that means. I looked at him blankly. (I mean hello, the bamboo serving tray is perfect for breakfast in bed and/or shuttling food out to the patio, once we have some patio furniture. Or for our as yet unborn children to take their Eggo waffles and pizza bagels down to the basement where they can watch their alloted daily hour of TV on the television we don’t yet have.. And the red serving tray is festive and meant for appetizers at parties, while the white one is better for chicken, turkey, or prime rib on holidays, and the white one with the blue flowers is more of a dessert tray, I think). So anyway, I get what Dan means about paring down. When it comes to fire extinguishers, not necessarily other stuff.