Nothing

I’m thinking I should blog. But I have nothing to blog about. You might as well stop reading. Stop. Seriously. Nothing to read here. (It’s true, Dan is out of town so he hasn’t worn any stupid outfits I can make fun of (that I know of), I haven’t gotten lost lately, and training has been going good but unfortunately I am just not finding much about triathlon very blog-worthy lately. Some stuff my patients have said/done is freaking hilarious/wierd but I don’t want to be unprofessional on the internet so there goes that whole genre). This is what its going to be like when I am supposed to say my vows at our wedding, which is now in just a few weeks. Everyone’s going to look at me like they are expecting me to say some vows which I should have previously created and I’m going to be like… It’s Dan’s turn. And then it will be my turn and I’ll be like “What he said.” Or more likely at the last minute right before the ceremony I will ask Dan if we can nix the saying our own vows thing because I couldn’t think of what to say. But that will make me look like a jerk so I really don’t want to do that. But the big day is getting close and no words are coming. I know, right? Me. No words. Unbelievable. I could be like “Last night I dreamed we were going to go kayaking in this gorgeous blue ocean but instead I wanted us to bike up Mt. Lemmon because I guess we must have been in Tuscon, even though that makes no sense because of the ocean, but anyway it was a dream, so we were getting our bikes all ready to climb up Lemmon but then I don’t think in the dream we actually ever did, but the point is I bet that’s a lot like marriage, right? A long, hard, grinding climb, but its worth it because when you get to the top there’s a great view and you get to descend super fast which is really the best part. And as far as Lemmon specifically, the last time I was there I had the best piece of pie of my entire life at a little diner at the top, and I hope to God its still there in case I ever get back. Couldn’t you go for coconut cream pie? I wouldn’t even care if it was not gluten free, I would eat it, crust and all and enjoy every last bite.” But that’s stupid. I am so not saying that in front of 100+ people. You didn’t even enjoy reading that did you, and all it cost you was 12 seconds of your time. People are flying in for this. They expect more than just awesome hors d’eurves and dancing. And not just people, but Dan, specifically. I snared him and now I can’t think of anything to even say to him. Ok snare was maybe not the right word, that sounds like I trapped him or something. He knew what he was getting into, I didn’t fool him or anything. I never liked mornings, I don’t really function without coffee and he knows I don’t shovel. Well not that I wouldn’t. I just haven’t. I guess I could… Anyway that is not the point. (And ps why am I even talking about shoveling in mid-May? Because its been freaking cold and snowing that’s why. Yeah I am a little peeved that I had to wear neoprene booties on my ride this afternoon. In May. WTF, Mother Nature!?) The point is the wedding is approaching and I have no vows. I went on the internet to try and find some but then I realized that a) most of the stuff there was stupid b) TheKnot.com had some good ideas but they were just ideas, you still have to write em yourself and c) If I just copied and pasted something from the internet it doesn’t count as writing one’s own vows. Where is my creative muse!??! I need her, stat.

2 thoughts on “Nothing

  1. Jonathan Rubin says:

    This only applies to guys, but…. Men have just about zero expectations for weddings. We are there for the reason we are supposed to be there – for YOU! We don’t care about the decor, or the flower arrangements, or if you said your vows while playing the violin whilst on a unicycle. We don’t judge or gossip. We hate things like the show “4 Weddings.” That’s why men rule, I guess is what I’m trying to say. Can’t wait for the big day, Pam!

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  2. PJ says:

    Holy cow this year has flown. I can’t believe it’s almost wedding time! I’m looking forward to hearing about it.The words will come to you, I’m sure of it. Those types of things usually come to me on long ass bike rides when I have nothing else to think about. But don’t think too hard cuz you’ll probably end up in Kansas. 🙂

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