After finding out we were expecting, the first baby accoutrement we purchased was a treadmill. Now, hear me out. I know little to nothing about babies. But I know this: They like to sleep a lot. And I like to run. And if you’re alone with a baby and it’s sleeping, which I suspect will be a frequent circumstance, you can’t run. Unless you have a treadmill, that is.

So I found what looks like a nice Nordic Track treadmill on Craigslist, and the seller even delivered it. I say “what looks like” because I haven’t truly tested it. I ran on it for like 60 seconds before I agreed to buy it and since we’ve had it, a) The weather has been too nice for me to justify working out in my basement, b) I have not run on it, but instead walked on it because for a variety of reasons, which would sound like complaints if I started to list them, which I won’t, I haven’t run at all since maybe July, or c) The one time I did walk on it, I experienced this weird abdominal pain that just felt wrong, plus my inner thighs felt like I just did a bunch of lunges, which also just felt wrong, so if I am going to work out in the basement, I opt for the trainer, and even though my thighs hit my belly when I bike, its still a preferable option.

After I got the treadmill, baby shopping came to a sharp standstill, with the exception of the acquisition of some great finds at a neighbor’s yard sale. Months went by, and then we took the plunge.

We went to Babies R Us, to register for stuff that we thought we would need, which was intimidating because we hardly knew what any of it was, what any of it did, or how to decide which ones to pick because for every little thing you never even heard of, there are like twenty of them. Like a crib mattress, for example… It never even occurred to me that we would need one of these. But they don’t come with the crib. And you can’t expect a baby to sleep on a piece of wood. But there’s like ten mattress choices. They range in price. Some are softer. Some are firmer. Some are hypoallergenic. Some are organic. Some are natural. It’s like trying to pick one of Ben and Jerry’s 34 Euphoric flavors (at least there were 34 when I worked there, circa 1996), only there’s nothing euphoric about it. Unless you count the baby itself, but to be honest, I’ve been having nightmares ever since I peed on the stick, so I have yet to experience the euphoria of expecting a baby. Not that I don’t want the baby, of course I do, but this will change our lives in a major way, and therefore I have been having a lot of dreams like where you are on the way to a triathlon at 7:55, the race starts at 8, you’re nowhere near the venue, and your bike is broken. Anyway, we picked a mattress. Then I went online and saw it got horrible reviews. I have been meaning to get around to deleting it from my registry and picking another one but I have been procrastinating this.

I felt like I was suffocating during the 90 minutes we spent at Babies R Us, except for when I found two maternity shirts that I liked on the sale rack, because I knew what those were, how to use them, and what size to get. I cannot begin to imagine what Dan was feeling, because he didn’t even get any cute shirts, and by the second aisle, he was like “How much more of this?”

Anyway, we left the superstore feeling that the buying baby supplies thing was under control… We knew (sort of) what we needed, we asked for it, and whatever no one buys us, we will eventually buy ourselves. Doneskie. Or so we thought. Over the weekend it occurred to me that whoever drops the baby off at daycare will have to pick the baby up too, because that person will have the carseat in their car. This will be very limiting, as far as the schedule of said person, as none of our daycare options are on the way to either of our workplaces. As an alternative, Dan suggested I really learn how to drive his car, which will offer us greater flexibility in this baby pick up/ drop off scenario. That way, if the car seat is in my car, we can switch cars if I would drive his. Which still doesn’t change the fact that whoever drops the baby off also picks the baby up. Also note, I do know how to drive his car, I just hate to do it, again for a variety of reasons that would sound like complaints if I listed them, so I won’t.

Obviously, the only option was to get a new car, one that both of us would drive, therefore we could keep my car, and get rid of Dan’s car, and have two cars that were user friendly to both of us. I said we would need a bigger car, for when we go camping. As it is, its tough to fit both of us and all our stuff in one of our small cars. Dan lit up at the prospect of camping with our baby this summer. Then I realized that I had not only implied that I was game for camping with an infant, but that I had gone so far as to suggest we get a new vehicle for that express purpose. I wanted to backpedal, but I was already dreaming of Bluetooth, Sirius, and in-dash GPS… Dangit!!! I suppose this is what they mean by pregnancy brain.

Then we started to brainstorm where we would come up with the money for this totally unanticipated but necessary, new, bigger car… It started to get stressful. How would this all work? Would I have to go back to work earlier than we’d planned? I didn’t even want to spend money on a car! I like spending money on cool stuff, like clothes, pedicures, trips, dinners out, race fees, home decor… But not cars! That’s like spending money on medical bills or your electric bill; You have to do it, but its no fun.

And then our friends told us the answer came to us – get a carseat base for each car. Duh! How could we have been so dumb. No car payment needed! Just another carseat base. If having a child gets more complicated than choosing supplies, and I suspect it will, I don’t know how I’m going to manage…