I’m definitely bored. I didn’t think the boredom would set in as quickly as it has, but it has. And don’t anyone tell me “Enjoy it, this will be the last time!” Also, please don’t suggest I take a nap. And while we’re on the topic, any comments re: Any day now, you’re ready to pop, are you so excited, you must be so excited, are you ready, when is your actual due date… (yes, yes, sort of, uh huh, I guess so, Friday), enough already. Well, let me clarify. If you are my friend or family member (e.g. someone that actually knows me) we can discuss these things or most anything you want, and probably stuff I want but you think is TMI, for that matter.

If I don’t know you, just please keep your comments to yourself. A nice smile will suffice. The best thing that happened to me this week was when I was at the gym and this lady smiled at me in the mirror. As she opened her mouth I was gripped by dread of what was sure to be a repeat of the same conversation I’ve had with every well-meaning lady my mom’s age at the gym over the last 3 months, “When are you due!? Is this your first? You must be so excited!” but all she said was, “I love your necklace!” It really is a great necklace…

Speaking of the gym. Overall I think my gym is pretty un-friendly, minus the front desk people, who are awesome. But the other patrons? Not so much. I find them cliquey. But you know when they get chatty? You guessed it. When you are preggo. This one lady pretended like she wanted to talk to me about my pregnancy, but really she wanted to talk about her daughter-in-law’s pregnancy. While I was trying to blow dry my hair, put on my makeup, and most importantly attempting leave the locker room. Note, this was before I became bored, sometime last week, when I wasn’t afraid to schedule things farther out than 2 days in advance and therefore had plans and places to be.

The following day Ms. Pregnant Daughter in Law was right next to me at the sinks as we were both getting ready. I smiled at her. I’m not saying I wanted to chat, but I thought that after she talked my head off, she deserved at least some acknowledgement, if only as a courtesy. She ignored me. No eye contact, no acknowledgement of said smile, nothing. Huh? Did she not recognize me? Did she have me confused with some other 5 foot tall, really pregnant lady at the gym? No, within minutes, I discovered she was just waiting for the worst possible moment to start talking to me. I must give her credit for her precise sense of timing. She engaged me in conversation (or more accurately, she started talking) just as I was reaching for the hairdryer. She proceeded not to take a hint, and continued to talk to me as I donned my coat, zipped my bag, and edged toward the exit, with no sign that she was reading all the cues that indicate to a normal person that you are trying to leave.

Anyway, about the boredom, I know I could re-organize my files, or check the balance of my health savings account or do some other productive, nesty-type thing, but now I really think I am done. I know I said that a few weeks ago, but since then, I have borrowed my friend’s amazing shampooing vacuum which I used yesterday to thoroughly clean the basement carpet, which is a light ecru type color. That thing works like a dream! It takes work, but the satisfaction of all the dark spots disappearing is more than worth it. I’ve also baked; one loaf of zucchini chocolate chip bread (gone), one loaf of plain zucchini bread (to give to a friend who just had a baby), and one loaf of banana bread (probably will be gone soon).

I’d like to go for a long walk or swim at the outdoor pool while I could still get some sun, but I am waiting for the carseat guy. Apparently there is one guy who officially knows anything about correct installation of carseats in our whole town. I thought I’d heard he was the best guy. Turns out he’s the only guy. The fire and police departments just refer you to this one guy. Over the phone I asked him his last name, and he said, “Oh, I’m just Bill the Carseat Guy.” When we talked yesterday he said he could fit me in to check our carseat sometime in about three weeks. When I explained that my due date is Friday, he made an allowance and said he could do it sometime this afternoon, and he would call me, but he couldn’t say when… So I’m just hanging out, waiting. Ps, I thought marriage meant no more waiting around for guys to call. At least I don’t have to pretend I’m not.

I’ve watched a few more episodes of Ruby but to be perfectly honest, the idea of watching tv is always so much better than actually doing it. I am in the middle of “The Marriage Plot” by Jeffrey Eugenides, which I am reading on the Nook, and its ok; the protagonist is likeable but the plot is pretty slow moving. Not bad at all, but not exactly a page turner. Which is funny because the Nook doesn’t even have pages… I was skeptical at first but I cannot get over how easy it is to read with one hand. I love it. It’s officially Dan’s, but that’s another thing about marriage, you share everything, which can be bad, but it can also be really good, especially if you’re talking about an e-reader.

Last night I thought maybe my boredom was over. I kept waking up with this feeling of excitement and dread, multiplied by a thousand. Imagine the feeling just before the gun goes off at a race, just as you are handed the mic to give a maid of honor toast, and you are sitting down with your boss to ask for a raise, all happening at once. I thought maybe for sure I was about to have this baby. But it was just heartburn.