I went to work with a cabbage leaf in my bra. Not just any cabbage leaf; one that I stuffed in hastily in the grocery store parking lot. Let me back up. On Wednesday I made a mental note to confirm with the babysitter for Friday. Wednesday came and went and I was still trying to remember who I’d lined up for Friday. Thursday I reminded myself once again to confirm with the babysitter. But by the time I got around to looking at my planner to figure out who the babysitter was supposed to be, it was 4:30pm and I realized… there was no babysitter scheduled. Great. So I called one of our favorites… she was a little confused and asked me, “Are you asking me if I am scheduled to babysit, or if I am available?” Uh… both? The answer was no, and no. I called another fave, (ps it’s ok to have multiple favorites. Did you know I have at least three BFF’s?) who was available, but only till 2:15… I could make that work… If I could get up at 6, be at work by 7, and do a ten minute lunch, I could be home by about 3:30, and Dan would able to come home from work for a bit to cover that hour. Done and done.

Except when I was just about to leave the house, travel mug in hand, I noticed a suspicious soreness in my breast. Yeah, I said breast. (I can’t wait to see what kind of Google search terms lead people to my blog now). I feared it was a clogged duct, the precursor to what could easily become a very nasty, painful breast infection. Eeks.

It’s a good thing Sweet Pea is always up for another drink (must run in the family), because I thought nursing her again might help.  But I was still sore. So I pumped, but no milk came out. The minutes ticked by and my plan to get to work super-early was in the toilet. I stopped at Alfalfa’s to pick up an herbal remedy. I Googled “clogged duct herbal treatment” at a red light. What did people do before smart phones? I suppose under normal circumstances I would have called my mom, but she was in flight on her way back from Europe.

I got to the market and found the herbal aisle devoid of sales associates. A cute, friendly 20-something guy stocking the mineral water case asked if he could help me. I sincerely doubt it. I asked him if he worked in the herbal section and he said no but what could he do for me. Really, nothing. Well, he asked… Sure enough he didn’t have any answers for me, but he called for assistance without even blushing, much to his credit.

So I left Alfalfa’s armed with an herbal tincture and a head of cabbage, which makes an excellent cold compress. Not the whole thing, just a leaf at a time, in case you were visualizing that wrong. (If I was going to use the whole thing, I would have had the good sense to get two. Duh).

And, poof, there went all my plans… See, in addition to getting work as early as I could, I also had this big idea to bring an extra lunch, a surplus of snacks, a work outfit, plus extra bottles for expressed milk so that I could arrive at work again on Saturday by foot. I was going to run to work! Genius, right? Everyone thinks of bike riding as the best alternative to driving. But, running!? It was pure brilliance. Why had I never thought of this before? It just took some extra planning, but it was totally do-able. I would not have to take anything to work on Saturday, I could run there, and take the bus back. But fighting mastitis means laying low and running to work is the opposite of that. Boo.

Typically, I follow this Sickness Workout Rule: If symptoms are from the neck up, it’s ok to work out at an easy level. But if the symptoms are below the neck, skip the workout. My present ailment obviously falls under the “below the neck” category. Plus, a cabbage leaf in a normal bra is one thing, but in a sweaty sports bra? Homey don’t play that.

The good thing was it ended up being a much shorter work day than I anticipated. I even had time to stop and get some things at the store, including more herbal tincture (Happy Ducts by Wish Garden, in case you were wondering. It works!!), and a bar of Chocolove (Best. Chocolate Bar. Ever.) for the babysitter who kindly said yes at the last minute, and arrive home by 2:15, when said sitter was supposed to turn into a pumpkin.

After pounding dropperfulls of Happy Ducts all day, taking a hot bath, resting, and nursing more often than usual, I think I have this thing under control. I thought I would call out sick tomorrow but it looks like (knock on wood) I just might go into work after all. I hope to get in a ten miler on Sunday, but only if I am 100% back to normal.

In other news, my mom finally returned from her European vacation. I didn’t realize how much I rely on her until she was un-reachable. It seems she became my 24 Hour Baby Crisis Prevention Hotline without me even realizing it.
She cried for thirty minutes, then she slept for 20 minutes, now she’s crying again. What do I do?
She’s spitting up. I thought they weren’t supposed to spit up anymore. What do I do?
She woke up from her nap at the wrong time and she is supposed to go down in an hour but in an hour I planned on heading to play group. What do I do?
Her cheeks are red, she’s crying, her nose is stuffy, and I think she might be teething. Is she teething? What do I do?
She was sleeping through the night, but now she’s not. What do I do?

Et I can’t believe she hasn’t started screening my calls cetera…

So I survived 14 whole days without my guru. Phew.

Now go hug your mom if you’re lucky enough to be able to!