I alluded to the article I wrote for Colorado Runner Magazine a couple of posts ago, and I think we need to come back to that. I am excited about it not just because it’s a thrill to see my name in print. And not just because I got paid to do something I love to do. My little article’s appearance in a small magazine was something I worked really hard for. Maybe it could have been easier, and maybe it could have happened a lot sooner, but it if was and if it had, it wouldn’t be such a big deal to me.

Years ago, I told a friend who was a freelance writer that I was interested in getting into that line of work. She told me my blog was cute and that it was a very hard industry to break into.  Me being me (eg way too sensitive), I thought she was telling me not to bother and I was embarrassed for even bringing it up. I kept blogging and I enjoyed writing but I stopped entertaining the idea of getting paid to write. Meanwhile, Dan, my mom, and my sister were telling me that they loved my writing and why couldn’t I be a writer, and as much as I appreciated and still appreciate the encouragement, I was also was like, “Whatever, you are related to me/married to me, not the New York Times Book Review editor.”

Then, last year, I co-produced Boulder’s Listen To Your Mother Show and I had the opportunity to connect with the other producers and directors of Listen To Your Mother Shows across the country, many of whom write for a living. I met these women and other inspiring people at the BlogHer Conference in 2013. And I decided, for reals, I wanted to get paid to write.

I don’t know what it’s like for other writers, so I am speaking for myself here. Writing, particularly submitting your writing for publication, can be very scary. I fear I will have nothing to write about, or nothing that anyone else would be interested in reading. I fear I will set aside precious time to write and I will dither it away on Facebook, shopping on Amazon or deleting some of the 1241 emails sitting in my inbox. I fear I will fail to start to write.  I fear that if I start, I will fail to finish. I fear even saying the words “I am a writer” will make me sound like a fraud.

So, my little piece on treadmill running is more than just an article to me. It’s something that was published in a real, albeit small, magazine seven years after I started this blog, which was born out of a desire to write. The check came in the mail six months after I decided I would like to get paid for writing. This article is validation of my desire to get paid for my writing.

This article is a big fat middle finger to my fears and insecurities.