I knew having a baby would mean Dan and I would have less free time- for ourselves and for each other. The reality of that was an entirely different thing. There has been a lot of trial and error over the last few years, as we try to figure out what works for us to get the time we need for ourselves and for each other. And while we are by no means experts, we have figured out a few strategies that work for us.
My friend Cassie invited me to guest post on her blog, True Agape. I am thrilled to be over there today. I would love it if you would click over to read my post 5 Simple Strategies for Parents to Sustain Yourself and Your Marriage.
What a timely, wonderful post now that my girl is 11 weeks. Tomorrow we are leaving her with friends for a few hours so we can have our very first alone time in nearly 3 months. I don’t know what to do with it! Go out to eat? Kiss and hold hands? NAP?
Hahaha! I know, I am always torn in a million directions when I have both the kids down napping/resting simultaneously. When Dan and I have a date planned, we almost always have a plan in mind. Usually we go out to eat. It’s so nice to be able to talk to each other without having to jump up from the table to get more milk, another fork, get the puree out of the microwave, etc… Have so much fun on your date!!
Thank you so much, Pam for guest posting with us! Such a great post I think a lot of parents need to read! Including myself of course. I have a feeling I’ll be rereading it as a reminder several times down the road!
Cassie, it was my pleasure! I definitely think the more you plan ahead, the easier it is to feel relatively sane. This has been hard for me because I like to just let things happen in my day, but I find that if I don’t know exactly when and how something (eg blogging, running) is going to happen, usually it just doesn’t.
Brilliant advice, Pam. I think the one that I would love to implement is the one about 5:45-7:30 and doing what you want with that time. We are still trying to work on our baby sleeping at night, so no one is in any shape to get up before 7am. But to have a predictable window of time is so unbelievably life-giving.
You can tell you love your husband and he loves you and you support one another and want to see one another running in stride. What an awesome example for the kids as they grow up.
Thanks, Esther! We do love each other and we support each other but for sure we argue and get on each other’s nerves at times. I couldn’t bear you thinking we are perfect! I took the painful step of letting the baby cry and ignoring her at night… It was horrible, but she figured it out after a few nights and now she can go until 3 or 4 in the morning, which is a HUGE improvement. At that point I feed her, and we go back to bed for another 2-3 hrs. Until that happened, the early am slot was hit or miss, as far as whether I would use my days for anything other than sleep.