Stuck in my current habitat, I’m constantly thinking of my to-do list. When I’m at the park, I’m making a shopping list in my head. At Costco, I am thinking about what time I need to be home in order to make dinner so that Sweet Pea can get fed, bathed, and put down by her bedtime. While I am bathing her I am thinking about what I am going to have for dinner. While I am sitting down to dinner, I am checking my phone to see if there are any urgent text messages. Which is ridiculous, considering the two people with the greatest chance of needing me urgently, Dan and Sweet Pea, are within 15 feet of me.
I do visit the present on a regular basis. Like, when I’m running, and the only thing on my mind is how my breathing feels, or what the Flatirons look like, covered in a wash of pink as the sun rises. I visit the present when I sit in the glider chair in Sweet Pea’s room, nursing her and marveling at the softness of her cheeks, the fineness of her hair, and the way her plump thighs beg to be squeezed. In those moments, I can really see myself being happy in the present full-time.
Don’t worry, I won’t just up and move and disappear on you. I’ll stay in touch. I just may not return your texts or emails as quickly or like or comment on your Facebook status as often.
|I probably didn’t have to go all the way to Hawaii to get my mind into the present. Although it didn’t hurt.|
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