Manic, in a Good Way

Hi. I’m overdue for a post… I aim for a post a week. What can I tell you? Earlier this week, I started a post about sleep training but it’s in Purgatory for Blog Posts (aka “Drafts”).  We had the night weaning thing down pat before Christmas time, but then we traveled and that messed things up and when we returned I didn’t have the energy to sleep train again. As I understand it, some babies are fine with a cuddle from Dad and that’s all they need to calm down and fall back asleep. We got the kind of baby who only wants to nurse. It’s so much easier to just give her a quick drink and get back into bed eight minutes later than to endure the alternative (crying, fussing, futile attempts to soothe said crying and fussing that don’t involve the boob, repeat).

And I was ok with what we had going for a while.  Sweet Pea would wake to nurse at 5:15ish and then go back to sleep,  but then 5:15 became 5:00, and then it was 4:38 for several days in a row, and before long it was 4:00, and then one fateful night the party lasted from 3:00 to 5:30 and I was like “That’s it.” And I started going all tough love on her a**. And by that I mean going to the guest room where the sound of her cries are muffled because I just want to sleep and I want her to figure out how to fall back asleep on her own but listening to the crying from right across the hall in our bedroom breaks my heart into a million pieces.

Also, when lying there in the dark listening to her cries, I’ve been known to hiss in the direction of Dan’s side of the bed, “You’re sleeping! You’re sleeping. I know you are. I can tell by the sound of your breathing!!” Yes, I’ve woken my husband from a sweet slumber to accuse him of sleeping. This is not something I’m proud of. Sleep deprivation is not good for a marriage, folks.

Other than sleep training, I’ve been working hard on Listen To Your Mother.  Do you not know what that is? It’s only the most awesome Mother’s Day event, ever.  I am co-producing Boulder’s Listen To Your Mother Show, where local writers and bloggers will read their own words on motherhood before a live audience . We will be holding auditions in late February and early March and are getting ready to officially announce this on the website. In the meantime, we are have recently announced our venue, and we are busy organizing sponsorship relationships with local businesses.  I thought soliciting potential sponsors would be the scariest, most intimidating part of producing this event, but actually, it’s been fun.

The other day, I was working like a fiend, emailing my friend/co-producer about every hour like “I created another Google doc! Go check it out!” and “What do you think of this article I wrote!?” And “Can you review this email?” and all this kind of stuff and she’s like “Whoa, you’re waaay ahead of me” and I was like “No worries, I’m kind of manic, but in a good way.” Which she said should be my quote. So yeah, manic in a good way sums up my life lately, especially considering the sleep debt I’ve been accruing, guest room sleeping not withstanding.

Another thought: maybe I’ve channeled all the energy I used to put into working out into this project? Not that I don’t work out anymore, I just haven’t had much oomph in my workouts. I am bored to death of running sometimes. Same goes for biking on the trainer. The fact that it’s January doesn’t help much. I had some fun last weekend in a 90 minute strength/cardio class at my gym and also at a Zumba class and I was all “Yes! Must go to more classes!” but the reality is, it’s kind of hard to fit it in between Sweet Pea’s naps. I know, I know, this is a first world problem. And that four mile race that was keeping me (somewhat) motivated? The day I pre-registered, I started getting this sharp shooting pain in my achilles, which put the kibosh on that. I don’t have another race on the calendar right now. I probably should, though.

Oh and ps if you are sad that you don’t live near Boulder because the Listen To Your Mother Show sounds like such an awesome thing to be part of, DON’T WORRY. This amazing celebration of motherhood is happening in 24 cities this year. Yes, 24 cities, so you probably live near one. Go check the website. Most cities have already put the call out for submissions, so get going on that.

If you still are not convinced that you need to be part of Listen To Your Mother, watch this clip, please. It’s from last year’s Los Angeles show. I am kind of obsessed with it right now. 

 And this one too. OMG, right!? So beautiful.

I started writing my story for our show this week. I asked Dan, “What if it’s not good enough? What if it’s like, so obvious that the only reason I got to read mine is because I am one of the producers because everyone else’s awesome and I look like a loser?” Dan, ever the optimist, reminded me this would actually be a very good problem to have. I love that guy.

Here’s a gratuitous pic of us loving on each other, taken this Christmas Eve:

And another one, taken at the same place (China Inn, Pawtucket, RI), at my 30th birthday party, in 2008 when we were dating. Dan made a sweet toast to me and I guess he must have said “I love you” because later, in private, my mom was like “Don’t worry, he wants to marry you.” I’d already told him we needed to get married but he wasn’t on board with the plan yet. My mom said “Trust me, a guy doesn’t say ‘I love you’ in front of 50 people unless he wants to marry you.'” My mom knows some stuff.

2 thoughts on “Manic, in a Good Way

  1. Katie says:

    Babies are tough stuff! I like to joke that I’ve started running faster since Emily was born because she taught me what tough really was via sleep deprivation. My first one wasn’t so bad, but my oh my, little miss Emily…It was like 14 months before she started mostly sleeping through the night, but she would still wake up at 4:00 am every single day. It wasn’t until she was almost two that 4 am turned into 5 am, and now at 2.5 sometimes she sleeps until 6:30. The first couple years are tough, BUT it gets easier. I mean it’s always hard and crazy, but what’s hard changes, and some of that “hard” stuff when they’re older is super fun stuff! Like I have to practice Kenpo with my 5 year old everyday to help her out, and while it takes time away from me, it’s tons of fun too! Hang in there, it gets so much better!

  2. ThirdCultureMama says:

    Hey Pam,Not sure where my first comment went but it looks as if it has disappeared.I just wanted to say that we are dealing with the same 5:30, no wait today it’s 5:15, now 5, now 4:45, 3:30am madness. Our boy is up once a night, and has been since our trips at 6 months of age and it is a struggle to decide between the quick over-and-done nightly feed OR to go through crying torture at said 3:30am. Anyway, really enjoy your writing as always!

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