Vacation Report

Day before trip:
8pm: Tell Dan I will be done with work, packing by 10ish and he should come over then.
11pm: Have not worked, have hardly packed, place still not cleaned up, need to work on professional conference stuff, pay bills, finish laundry prior to departure.
3:47 am: Setting up vacation auto replies for email accounts
4:00 am: Arrive at Dan’s. Discover he is sleeping in a pile of sheets. Inadvertently wake him upon discovery as do not want to sleep in pile of sheets but rather with fitted sheet… fitted on mattress.

Day 1 (Saturday):
noon: Proposed departure time.
3pm: Depart.
5:30 pm: Arrive. register for Tour de Wyoming at Laramie Junior High School. Wonder what we would have to do to be worthy of High School.
5:40: Acknowledge major bug problem.
6pm: Drive to local K-Mart for bugspray, batteries. Find it very hard to stay focused. Let Dan locate necessary items while practicing hula hoop, eyeing the 50th anniversary special edition Barbie and realize what nice linens and housewares are available. Who knew???? Dan steers me to checkout line
7pm: Mandatory safety meeting.
7:30: Why is this taking so looooong? Ride right. Stay to the right. Don’t go to the left of the white line. We got it.
8:15: Locate restaurant in Laramie.
8:45: Am enjoying pork chop.
8:59: Can’t figure out why pork tastes so much like fish. Bad fish. Oh my god.
10:00: Still alive. No GI distress noted. Feel safe again.

Day 2 (Sunday)
6:30: Exit tent. Feel as if in coma. Is too early to rise during vacation.
6:31: Note only about a dozen or so other tents left standing. Huh??? Perhaps missed memo re: Tour de Wyoming is now competitive race???
7:10: Eating dry egg potato burrito. Sans ketchup. Suffering has begun and have not even begun ride.
7:48: Dan, M., self roll out. Feel confident we are last to leave. Threesome heretofore known as Trio De Tardy.
9:45: Legs feel fatigued as have have just ridden 80 miles. Only at mile 25. Wish I had trained for this. Let Dan and M. pull.
A long time later: Made it up the pass. Maybe was not a pass but a big ascent. Actually was gradual 7ish mile climb. Urge legs to remember climbing to Ward, Jamestown, et al. Legs amnesic. Wish had trained.
A long time after that: Arrive Walden High School after 68.1 miles of riding. ie) 3 miles more than my longest ride of the season.
4ish: Try to negotiate high school girls locker room on way to/from shower stall with no glasses or contacts as cannot currently wear the latter. Feel awkward and anxious. Not unlike high school…
6pm: Dinner served by local 4H club. Tour brochure plugged meal as “type of food cyclists like to eat.” Did not realize cyclists like white bread, beef, baked beans, brownies and lemonade till now. Yearn for anything green and leafy. Consider walking into town for salad. Remember that legs hurt and skin is burnt and decide against it.
8pm: Cuddle up with Ted Bundy murder book in tent and go to sleep.

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